Well I just got back from my random and last minute trip to see my ex. I feel as if the trip went well. She has told me since we ended back in January that she needed to see me to see if she still feels the same and to figure out what she wants. So when I had my operation, will be two weeks ago on Wednesday, and they told me I was going to get 14 days free Leave I decided that I would go see her. So I bought my plane ticket and headed out there to see her.
I had a good time on the trip. It started out horrible with a delayed flight and lost luggage that didn’t show up till Wednesday but after that it got better. She did have to work a lot while I was there which was ok with me, in a way. While she was at her day job I slept and read Twilight and about three quarters of New Moon. They are really good books I may go buy them and the 3rd one as well. Anyway when she got off that job she had about an hour before she had to be at her other job. So we would go eat then I would go with her to the second job and stay there with her until she got off. We then would go home and hang out, watch a movie, or just go to sleep. It in a way was how a vacation should be, relaxing and basically stress free.
There was a little stress and some weird moods and moments, but nothing really crazy that would ruin a trip. She did a few nights ruin a good day, just for a few moments with her telling me that she still is unsure of what she wants. She is still unsure of what she wanted when I left yesterday. But I feel this was a good trip. It lets her know how much I care for her still and how I will always be there/here for her and how I never want to lose her as a friend if that is all we end up being in the end.
I feel we had a good time and there really were very few weird moments between us. This is a good thing because it has been about 3 months since we had last seen each other. We did kind of have one little fight but it was my fault. Her phone the entire time I was there was getting blown up with text messages and I did good for a few days not caring who it was texting her, but then one day, I didn’t really even notice it, but I kept looking over her shoulders and reading the texts. She told me that I was going or had gone through her phone reading her phone. I told her I did not because that is her phone, her privacy and it was not my business what she was texting. So it got brought up at one point and I apologized and it was resolved, that if all the texts were bothering me to let her know and she would stop for a little while, and I would stop looking over her shoulder and reading the text. I honestly didn’t realize I was doing it, and still don’t know why I was doing it. But other than that that was the only kind of drama/fight/argument we had while I was there.
I just hope that this trip has helped her even in a small way realize what she wants. I wrote her a Love Letter before I left to go out there and debated the whole time whether or not to give it to her. I think when I get home I will send it to her. I feel as if the trip went well enough that it won’t complicate things. I hope that this good feeling keeps up and will hold me over for quite some time.
It is always hard for me to leave when I go visit her. I never want to leave. I won’t lie, that when I got on the plane to leave my eyes were watering and I was about to cry. I had to fight one of the hardest fights I have ever had to fight to hold back the tears. I never like to leave her; if I had my choice I never would have left on my first trip out to see her. I told her this, and she told me she hates crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said it was because I treat her to well. I said to her that I treat her the way she deserves to be treated and she deserves to have her fairy tale come true as much as I can make it come true.
So I guess we will see in the next few months how things will go. I am looking forward to the trip in May home for my sister’s graduation; my ex will be coming down for that. So I am excited for that trip for more than one reason. It will be a short trip but I am still looking forward to it. I guess that is it for now.
With a happy, revitalized and joyful Heart and Mind, thanks for reading.
Chris
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